Fire and Ice

John Gray, PhD, explains why hormonal balance for both genders is the key to health and happiness
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Quick Takes
Q: How do you start your day?
A: Two ways: First, I take time for meditation in order to focus on whereI will put my energy and intention. Second, I always have a superfood shake.

Q: What's your favorite way to unwind?
A: Like any Martian, I love a little time in front of the TV. My mind can go out of focus, and that's often the release I need.

Q: If you were stranded on a desert island, what one food and one supplement would you want to have with you?
A: Funny you should ask that. A few months ago I was on safari with my wife, Bonnie, in South Africa. We took bags of goji berries, and we stayed satisfied, sharp, and alert with no undue food or sugar cravings. I don't think man can live by goji berries alone, but he can go a long way.

If you've ever felt that your spouse/partner was so hard to figure out that s/he might as well have come from another planet, John Gray, PhD, understands your plight. His 1992 No. 1 best-selling book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus-which has sold more than 50 million copies in more than 45 languages-addressed the psychological differences between the sexes and how to negotiate them. Gray's latest offering, Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice, follows up with more in-depth advice-based on recent scientific discoveries about how hormones and biochemical balance affect gender differences-on how to traverse the oftentimes rocky road of romantic relationships.

Q: How do our hormones affect our relationships with our partners?
A: Stress and a lack of needed nutrients cause us to produce inadequate amounts of certain hormones, and an overabundance of other hormones. Once out of balance, we are not able to be at our best whether for ourselves or our significant others.

Q: How does blood sugar affect hormones?
A: The body requires a steady supply of blood sugar to make serotonin to calm the brain. No matter how loving and supportive a relationship a woman is in, if the brain is not getting that steady supply of blood sugar, stress levels are going to be both high and erratic, helping to heighten that sense of "Venus on Fire."

Q: What foods and supplements are best for hormone balance?
A: During the last 40 years, processed foods have exploded both in the grocery store and in fast-food outlets. These foods cause a cascade of negative consequences that are at the root of much of the hormonal imbalance we see among the general population today. The right foods, which I call superfoods, are what we need in our daily diet. Some of these include undenatured whey protein, almonds, goji berries, maca powder, coconut oil, cocoa powder, and molasses. As a supplement, I always use PGX, which has been proven to balance blood sugar and reduce sugar cravings.

Q: In the book you describe "Venus Talks." What are they and why do they work?
A: Venus Talks are essential if a man hopes to help his mate lower her stress level. They should not be taken lightly. In fact, I recommend that when a woman wants to talk about her day, a man take the time, 10 minutes at least, to patiently listen. This is an essential release of stress and one of the keys to a happy and lasting relationship.

Q: You also describe "Emergency Man." What does he do?
A: Emergency Man thrives in a crisis. There is a part of almost every man that is an Emergency Man in waiting. When the power goes off in the house, Emergency Man swings into action. He's checking the voltage box, the main power line, etc. Women often don't know to call on Emergency Man, and that's unfortunate because men thrive (read: testosterone rush) when called to fix something or address any immediate problem.

Q: What is "man-o-pause"?
Man-o-pause, while not as easy to define or observe as menopause, has it's own distinct markers. While a guy isn't going to feel his testosterone level dropping, he is going to notice a decline in sexual interest, an inability to sleep through the night, and a rise in sudden irritability. Like with women, these symptoms are all greatly reduced through proper diet, exercise, and overall stress reduction.

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